Exploring Your Family Baggage...

At birth, we come into this world with a genetic endowment from each of our parents. Our unique combination of genes determines our unique potentials and, to some extent, who we will ultimately become. Our subsequent life experiences will determine which potentials are realized and which are not.

For example, a person born with the genes for rapid muscle contraction has greater potential for becoming a world class sprinter than another individual who was not endowed with such a gift. Whether or not that genetic potential is realized will depend on a number of factors:

1. Does the overall genetic endowment of that individual: does it support that specific potential being realized (because that specific one stands out among all other possibilities) or are there other genes that predominate instead?
2. Are the parents of this child able to recognize the unique talents of their offspring and support each child in discovering and developing his/her potential? Or are they focused on treating each of their children the same (possibly out of fear that one might be singled out as their favorite and more loved by them), thus ignoring the uniqueness and specific needs of each child?
3. Do the child's caregivers support the unique development of each child according to that child's talents and interests? Or do they try to live vicariously through their children, pushing them to live out unfulfilled parental dreams?
4. Are opportunities available for exploring and developing a child's interests and talents? Is there sufficient financial support for taking advantage of these opportunities?
5. Is there support for accepting one's limitations and respecting/drawing on the strengths of others? Are children taught within the family that it is OK to ask for help or is doing so labeled as a sign of weakness? And are children then shamed for their shortcomings?
6. If emotional support is lacking at home, are there others in the child's life outside the home who are able to provide it?
7. Does the young person, in the course of growing up, experience a psychological trauma of a magnitude great enough to precipitate symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? And if the child needs psychological services to recover, does s/he receive them or do they go untreated, leaving the child unable to focus on further skill development?

Clearly, these are only a few of the factors that can inhibit or foster the development of a child's talents.

Central to the growth and development of children is the question of how that same process progressed for their caretakers (whether they be their biological parents, foster or adoptive parents, teachers, coaches, babysitters, child care workers, camp counselors or others who contact with and responsibility for children). Those who have the most contact with a child will generally have the greatest impact on their emotional development.