Goals of Stress Management

Management of day-to-day stress (as well as high-intensity stressors such as natural disasters) requires attention to three important areas of your life: self-care, realistic expectations of self and others, and the ability to prioritize. While your ability to maintain your usual level of functioning will decline when under high levels of stress, developing good habits during less stressful periods will go a long way towards helping you to cope during peak times.

The goal of stress management is to provide your body with periods of time to recover from the effects of the chemicals that flow through your blood vessels when you are under stress. Without this rest, your body will remain in a state of heightened arousal and you will eventually display some combination of the following symptoms:

Self-Care:

Self-Care includes maintaining a healthy diet, eating regular meals, getting enough sleep, exercising, recreation, practicing good hygiene, and avoiding the use of alcohol and other drugs to either relax or keep going (including monitoring your caffeine intake which can exacerbate your level of stress). In addition, the following can be helpful:

• Journaling

• Meditation, Guided Relaxation tapes

• Taking vacations -- even a short weekend trip away from it all

• Taking regular breaks at work (away from stressful situations)

• Sports activities -- as participant or spectator

• Exploring nature

• Talking with a friend, family member, co-worker or therapist

• Trying something you've always wanted to but haven't

• Doing something you use to enjoy, but stopped doing

• Be creative.

Setting Realistic Expectations of Self and Others:

This skill is extremely important and requires developing an understanding of yours and others' limitations while keeping the stress management needs of all in mind. Maintaining unrealistic expectations leads to unnecessary self-recriminations and resentments toward others. Actively lowering your expectations (to a more reasonable level given the situation) may be difficult at first, but the rewards will be noticeable in the lessening of your stress level and friction/conflicts with others.

Prioritizing:

During stressful times, our ability to think clearly diminishes and along with it goes our ability to prioritize. However, if you develop your skill in setting priorities during periods of less stress, it will become second nature too you and this will help when you are overwhelmed. This skill also builds on and depends on your ability to set realistic goals.

When I have worked with individuals who are overwhelmed by the stress of their situation, I often remind them of the following:

1. Make a list of everything that needs to be done: a master list. Be sure to include your stress management goals.
2. Break each item down into its smaller components. For example, "Get the car fixed" becomes
   1. Get the 1st, 2nd, 3rd estimate (each with separate checkboxes)
   2. Get approval from the insurance company
   3. Set dates with auto repair shop
   4. Arrange for rental car
   5. Arrange for transportation between rental car agency & rental company (if needed -- make note to ask...)
3. Having Broken down your list in this way, your are ready to set your goals for each day.
   1. What has to be done today?
   2. If additional time remains, what can I reasonably accomplish towards my other tasks -- or would this time be better used for R & R?
   3. If I can see that I'm going to have difficulty completing a task before a scheduled deadline:
      1. Who can help? When? And how?
      2. If it's not a fixed deadline, what change is needed? BE FLEXIBLE.